Reading Fast

Evaluating tradeoffs and creating space for solitude and connection.

Pop quiz: What is one of your biggest default activities? The thing you do so often you might not even notice you are doing it? The thing you do to fill your spare moments? Maybe it's reading, maybe it's playing games on your phone or scrolling social media, maybe it's binge-watching TV or YouTube videos? It doesn't have to be a "destructive" habit. Just something that you spend a bunch of time on each week. 

For me, it's reading. Last year I finished 71 books, and Pocket emailed to tell me that I was in the top 1% of their users, having read roughly a million words in their app. This does not include reading I did outside of books or saved articles (I probably read about as much free-range content as I do out of my saved articles). 

The library basket at time of publication. Situation is out of control.

I don't say this to brag. It is a compulsive behavior, not a virtue. And sure, some of the books I read are highfalutin, but well over half the list is murder, mystery, or YA adventure. And, I assure you, there was more than one clickbait-fueled "news" binge. 

As this publishes, I will be coming off a one-week reading fast. The first time I came across this particular beast of a practice was when Julia Cameron sprung it on me with no warning in The Artist's Way. As the author anticipated, it was as valuable as it was loathsome. 

As much as I abhor this practice, I aim to do it quarterly (and actually do it about 2 or 3 times a year). By my personal definition, this means no reading books or articles (including email newsletters), no podcasts, no streaming video, and no non-social television or movies.* 

It is entirely against my nature. So why would I willingly subject myself to it repeatedly?  

Because I can't afford not to. There is value in periodically examining any activity to which you devote large swaths of time. 

Remember your default activity from the beginning? Take a break from it, for a week, starting now. Define for yourself, honestly, what counts as cheating, and do your best not to cheat. 

As you go through your week, keep yourself open to the following questions: 

- What do I get from this behavior? And why do I do it so much? 

- What am I not doing because I spend so much time doing this? 

- What am I doing in my newly-free time? And do I value it more or less than the activity I'm not doing? 

- What thoughts and feelings are coming up in the space I have created? 

Journaling, especially free-form journaling, where you just barf your thoughts out for 1-3 pages, is helpful for examining these questions. And yes, "This is stupid!" is a common thought for this experiment, especially in the beginning. 

I've done this exercise with reading roughly a dozen times, and you'll note that I have hardly stopped reading. But each time, I learn a little bit more about how this behavior serves me, when it is to be allowed freely,** and when I need to rein it in. 

P.S. I will be updating Notes daily this week with the daily observations I recorded from this experiment. Expect some delightful new discoveries, as well as a fair amount of time wasting as I flail to figure out what to do with myself. And hopefully, you’ll flail along with me.

*I make exceptions for actually unavoidable, work-related reading. Keyword: unavoidable. I can usually get a summary of a newsletter from someone else, but I need to read my clients' writing to edit it. 

**Reading fasts are programmed as a recurring event in my calendar. Once, I started a reading fast a few days after a sudden, unexpected bereavement. That's when I learned one of the things I use reading (and especially re-reading) for is self-soothing or numbing. Ever since, I have allowed myself to reschedule or cancel a reading fast if I am in a place where depriving myself of this tool would be truly counterproductive. And I have given myself the gift of enough knowledge to (pretty) reliably tell when that is. 

If you find yourself in a similar situation, you might still try this experiment, but re-evaluate after 2 or 3 days to see if you can cope without your selected behavior just now. And please do come back when you are ready; numbing is an adaptive behavior for some period of time, and then it slides into being maladaptive. A behavioral fast can help you figure out where you are on that spectrum at present.